Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar | Myna Wallin

Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar, by Myna WallinISBN: 9781926639116
Price: $8 special sale price!
Pub Date: 2010




Sex is casual, but conversation is a serious matter in the outrageous adventures of this contemporary cougar.In Myna Wallin’s second book, a reluctant cougar tells all. She feasts on young men of all kinds, in a world where sex isn’t dirty but love is coated in grime. In this raucous novel, she runs the gauntlet of men, including a Harley-riding bikini salesman, a semiotics professor, a foot fetishist, a jaded brand consultant, a homeless man, and a bisexual mime. Written with Wallin’s signature wit, this semiotics of dating is given a postmodern twist.

Click to read an excerpt from Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar.

“Wallin’s merciless wit subverts the Chick Lit genre, cleverly critiquing its man-chasing imperatives and dating cliches.”—Canadian Notes & Queries

“… an act of admirable bravery”—The Globe and Mail

“With humour and insight, Wallin’s narrator deliberates on the confusing mess that love can be while musing on her current and shaky love affair . . . here it is a call to action, a call for the liberation of the female body.”—Broken Pencil

Myna Wallin is a Toronto-based author and editor. She has her Masters degree in English Literature from the University of Toronto.  Her first full-length poetry collection, A Thousand Profane Pieces, was published in 2006. Myna’s poetry and prose have been published in numerous literary journals and anthologies, including The Algonquin Square Table Anthology, Contemporary Verse 2, Existere, eye weekly, Kiss Machine, The Literary Review of Canada, Matrix, Misunderstandings Magazine, Nod, Surface and Symbol, and Taddle Creek.

 

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Excerpt from Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar, “Man #1020”

Man #1020

Screen name: Renaissance Man

Favourite Quote: “If music be the food of love, play on, / Give me excess of it; that surfeiting, / The appetite may sicken, and so die.”

Self-description: Confident, hopeless romantic who will read you poetry and take walks along the moonlit beach with you.

Likes: Smart, sexy, petite women. Exotic types.

Dislikes: Smokers, drinkers, sex addicts,

Religion: Christian

Favourite movie moment: Charlton Heston parting the Dead Sea in The Ten Commandments.

Motto: “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Sex is all about the love with him “neo-Platonic” love to be exact. Connected to God and to all living things. He confounds her with elevated talk, spiritual idealism, and antiquated romantic notions.

“You are like a rose,” William says enigmatically.

“Does that mean I have thorns?” she teases, sweeping back her thick brown hair.

“No, you haven’t any. You’re a red rose with a hint of black. And eyes like Countess Bathory.”

Olivia smiles serenely, as though men have been treating her this way for centuries. She wonders to herself, Is he for real?

Later she looks up Countess Bathory on the Internet and discovers she murdered her housemaids to bathe in their fresh, young blood. Countess Bathory thought she had discovered the secret to the fountain of youth. There were fifty-odd dead in the castle basement by the time they caught up with her. Most accounts describe her as a vampire—terrified of aging, remarkably seductive. Olivia wonders if William really knows the whole story or whether he just likes the name Bathory, having heard it in passing.

Olivia has been a member of half a dozen online dating sites without much luck, until now. No one ever turned out to be who they said they were. It wasn’t that they were liars, though some of them were. People were just short-sighted. They saw themselves as they wanted to be seen. Even after she had closed her accounts on most of the sites, she still saved a copy of each profile from the men she’d dated. She even created a profile for men she hadn’t met online. It turned out to be a good way to keep track of them, especially if she was dating more than one at a time. It was her own private Dewey Decimal System for relationships that she stored in a folder marked ‘Personal.”

Olivia and William are walking across the grassy quad at York where he is a TA in art history and religion classes. Several young girls with knapsacks and tight jeans—girls Olivia has long since learned not to envy—eye her boyfriend, trying to catch his attention with a smile or by tossing back their long hair.

William takes her hand as they’re walking. She looks over at his earnest profile, a face that betrays no trace of the hardship he says he has endured. It is unlined and unspoiled. At thirty-five, William is eighteen years younger than Olivia. The creases around her eyes soften in his company.

William brings her red roses. He kisses her voluptuously. He makes her believe in love again, instead of just sex.


For more information about Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar or to purchase the book, please click here.

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Reading by “Orally Gifted” Tightrope Authors

Orally GiftedMarch 28, 2011, 7:30 – 10:30 pm
The Painted Lady
218 Ossington Avenue
Toronto, ON

A freewheeling night of fascinating fiction with three Tightrope Books authors: Basil Papdemos (Mont Royal), Myna Wallin (Confessions of a Reluctant Cougar) and Heather J Wood (Fortune Cookie).

RSVP on Facebook!

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