Excerpt from Iron-on Constellations, “What I Learned Growing Up in Parkdale”

What I learned growing up in Parkdale

Cars never stop for pedestrians
Kids should buy cigarettes in ones, it’s cheaper
Lake Ontario was once clean enough to swim in
Cadillacs invariably carry pimps
You can’t find parking on Sundays
Never trust others
Pick your nose when a pusher approaches
If you steal, you’ll get beat to a pulp
The cops only make you bleed worse
Guardian Angels are worse than cops
Hookers earn a decent living
The pimp always gets tired
Old women live alone
Boys trick you into giving them blowjobs
Resident’s associations hassle single women
The guy who owns the grocery store kicks his workers
My babysitter turns tricks
After dark, every car carries one man
Hide-and-seek is a dangerous game
People can survive anything

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